Author Archives: nicole

Roasting a Chicken

Roasting a Chicken

On a social media site yesterday I saw a recipe for “Tater Casserole” which included such ridiculously combined ingredients as one can of cream of mushroom soup, one bag of tater tots, 2 pounds of ground beef and a 1/4 cup of ranch dressing. As I read the heart stopping list out loud to Mr. MVP I could feel my arteries clogging in protest. Come on people, there is a better way to feed our families and it’s really easy!

Martha Stewart's roasted chicken photography is prettier than mine.

Roasted Chicken (Simplified)

Tools

1. The roasting pan is an essential piece of equipment for roasting a chicken because let’s face it, as much as we’d like to just shove the bird directly into the oven, we simply cannot.

2. A roasting rack, while not completely necessary, is absolutely worth the $8.00 investment if you plan on having roast chicken more than just one time.

3. Aluminum foil will make everything easier, from covering the pan, so clean-up is simple, to covering the bird, so eating is delicious! I prefer the heavy-duty foil from Sam’s Club, but I also recycle everything after it’s been rinsed off, so foil is a personal decision.

4. A thermometer can guide you through the, “is it done?” phase of cooking anything and everything. If you don’t already have one, save your pennies and buy one.

Ingredients

One 4 to 5 pound whole chicken

1 tablespoon butter, melted (optional)

3 or 4 medium cloves of garlic

2 teaspoons basil

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon sage

1 teaspoon thyme

Pepper (as much or little as you want, it honestly is up to you)

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cover the roasting pan with foil to make clean-up simple and place the roasting rack inside the pan. If you opted out of the rack, don’t worry.

2. Clear out the sink of any dishes and move any extra things off the kitchen counters. Grab a plastic grocery bag (garbage bag) for chicken parts, paper towels, and any trash. If they are available grab some antibacterial wipes or have soap and clean towels on hand. When working with raw chicken it is always better to be safe, than sorry.

3. Take the chicken out of the packaging and rinse with cold water, both inside and out. Remove any innards and the plastic thermometer if your chicken came with one and continue rinsing.

3. Pat the chicken dry with paper towels (this step is very important to get a crispy skin) and place it breast side up on the roasting rack.

4. Place the packaging, plastic thermometer, innards, and any cuttings in the trash bag. Wipe down the counter tops, the sink and wash any surfaces that might have come into contact with raw chicken. Now, wash those hands!

5. If you are using the butter, melt it in the microwave in a small dish and with a brush (or spoon) apply evenly over the chicken.

6. Next, crush the garlic either with a garlic press or finely chop it with a knife and rub it evenly over the chicken.

7. In a small bowl mix the herbs and rub them evenly over the bird.

8. Put the pan in the oven and roast the chicken, uncovered, for one hour. Using your thermometer, check the temperature. A finished chicken will be 165 degrees in the middle of the breast. If the bird isn’t done continue cooking for fifteen minute increments until it reaches 165 degrees.

9. Once the chicken reaches 165 degrees remove it from the oven and cover tightly with foil and let it rest for ten to twenty minutes. This will give you an opportunity to mash your potatoes, roast the brussel sprouts, and get your family to the table.

One 5 pound chicken, 2 cups of brown rice and one small roasting pan of brussel sprouts will feed Mr. MVP and I Saturday dinner with enough leftovers for his lunch through the week and there is absolutely no cream of mushroom soup anywhere.

 

 

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A Better Bed Than Bow Wow Beds

A Better Bed Than Bow Wow Beds

Bow Wow Beds‘ owners Amberlii and Kent promise that “Every pet bed cover, dog crate cover, pet bed liner and furniture coverlet protector is made to order with great care and attention to detail.” As a past customer of Bow Wow Beds I am here to personally assure you that is absolutely and positively not true. After my purchase last month of two dog bed duvets and liners from their Etsy store I was out over $100 and left feeling downright Regretsy about the whole situation.

After placing and paying for my order on December 10, 2011, I assumed that the bed covers and liners would be assembled and shipped sometime before the new year, but I was sadly mistaken. On December 23, 2011, Amberlii told me “We quote on the shop policies page anywhere from 7-20 business days to completion depending upon when the fabric arrives. Right now with the Holidays I am running close to the 20 business days.” Twenty business days would have had my order in my hands by January 6, 2012, at the very latest.

On January 10, 2012, I inquired again about the status of my order and was told “Your order will be shipping this week. Thanks again and sorry I couldn’t have everything sewn and shipped sooner!” For those of you who are still with me, January 10th is a Tuesday and by January 13, 2012, (Friday) at 5:30 p.m. I inquired once more regarding the status and was told, “I finished sewing your order today. You will automatically get the tracking number when I print the shipping label with Stamps.com either this evening or tomorrow. Still on schedule to ship this week on Saturday!”

As promised on January 14, 2012, 35 days after I placed the order I received a non-functioning tracking number from Stamps.com (the United States Postal Service had been notified that there was a package ready, but the package had not been delivered to the post office as yet). Needless to say, I was furious, but I needed bed covers and liners for my dogs’ beds. I love my dogs and my dogs make me happy. Here they are, Madeline and Blue, respectively. See, happy!

So, I did what any self-respecting pet owner would do, I waited. To be fair to Amberlii, January 16, 2012, was MLK day, which means Stamps.com was not delivering much of anything until Tuesday, January 17, 2012, which is when the tracking number started working, a full 38 days after I placed my order, which I finally received on January 19, 2012.

Now, remember I ordered duvet covers and liners, NOT bedding material which means the bedding material that I had in my home was purchased very specifically to fit the covers that Bow Wow Beds made. The listing plainly says that each cover would be 25 inches by 38 inches, except that is not what I received. I received two bed duvets measuring 24 inches by 35 inches, which means my 70 pound dogs are constantly readjusting themselves on ridiculously too small beds that I’ve stuffed with bedding material that DOES NOT FIT.

After expressing my honest displeasure with Amberlii and Bow Wow Beds on Etsy, I was given retaliatory and unfair negative feedback, which brought down the rating for my extraordinarily small Etsy business. The Nate Berkus Show and HGTV obviously didn’t thoroughly investigate Bow Wow Beds to discover such hulking issues as drastic timing flaws, product misrepresentation and just plain owner jerkiness. So, who is a better alternative to Bow Wow Beds and their poorly constructed duvets? A quick search on Google shows the list, is nearly endless:

Orvis Dog Bed

1. Orvis has lots of beds with liners. The great thing about these beds is they will most likely ship within a day or two, they will come WITH the bedding material already inside of the cover and Orvis backs their products with a 100% satisfaction guarantee.

2. Doctors Foster and Smith has an orthopedic bed with a liner that once again comes with the bedding material, ships almost immediately and has a guarantee.

3. Buddy Beds has beds, liners, shipping, a guarantee, plus Martha freaking Stewart.

Now I’m getting lazy, so I’m just going to start listing names of good places to buy dog beds that aren’t Bow Wow Beds: LL Bean, Senior Pet Products, Wag.com, Dawg-Tired.com, and The Dog Outdoors.com.

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Simple Split Pea Soup

Simple Split Pea Soup

Every Sunday I make split pea soup in the crock pot. It’s simple, healthy and it tastes amazing. It took me a very long time to find a recipe I liked because most split pea soups require soaking the peas overnight, which I think is too much work. Other recipes call for ham or ham hocks, which I don’t like because of the salt content. My recipe is an organic split pea hybrid that cuts out soaking time and excess salt by using skinless turkey sausage.

Split Pea Soup before spending 6 hours cooking!

This recipe makes enough for Sunday dinner and for Mr. MVP to have lunch four days during the week.

Simple Split Pea Soup

Ingredients

  • 1 pound organic dried split peas, rinsed and sorted
  • 7 cups organic low sodium chicken broth
  • 1 pound skinless turkey sausage, sliced
  • 3 large carrots, chopped
  • 2 or 3 stalks of celery, chopped
  • 3 medium potatoes, peeled and chopped
  • 3 cloves of fresh garlic, minced
  • ½ teaspoon dried oregano
  • 2 bay leaves
  • 1 small onion, chopped

Directions

In a 5-quart slow cooker with a crock pot liner for easy clean up, combine split peas, broth, sausage, carrot, celery, potatoes, garlic, oregano, bay leaves, and onion. Stir to combine.

Cover, and cook on high for 6 hours. Remove bay leaves and stir to combine. The peas will thicken the broth automatically, like magic! Store leftovers in the fridge for up to 7 days.

 

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Grammar Police

Grammar Police

Grammar. A never ending list of language rules we start using in grade school, we continue learning throughout our secondary education and then slowly screw everything up as educated, working adults. Spelling simply falls aside as a sentence like this, “We r in need of assistance getting more paper out, if u can help message me back, we nerd feet on the ground for the next hour.” comes from an elected official on his Facebook wall. Nice.

As a self proclaimed control freak myself, I have annoyance issues with some types of bad grammar. Bad word choice in adults drives me insane. Here is a quick review:

It’s vs Its

  • It’s not going to snow today. (The contracted form of “it is” as a helping verb.)
  • The bird ate its meal. (The possessive pronoun form used to express that something belongs to it.)

Your vs You’re

  • You’re not dressed appropriately. (The contracted form of “you are” as a helping verb.)
  • Your score was the highest. (The possessive pronoun form.)

Their vs There vs They’re

  • The movie was at their house. (Possessive pronoun.)
  • When are you going there? (Adverb.)
  • They’re moving to California in December. (The contracted form of “they are”.)

To vs Too

  • That book is too expensive! (Can mean “also”.)
  • I gave the book to him. (Preposition.)

The next time you are tempted to use the number 4 in place of an actual word, don’t do it. Think back to all the hours your brain spent absorbing grammar and language and put those skills to the test.

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Facebook

Facebook

I like Facebook. I enjoy the status updates because I am, by nature, a little curious about other people and their lives and let’s face it, I am really nosey. Facebook is a virtual neighborhood filled with your past and present friends, acquaintances, frenemies, and family members and snooping is as easy as a click of the mouse. Fantastic!

Lately however, my page has been filling up with cheesy references to extraordinary parents, blurbs about relatives who have suffered from any number of diseases, and all sorts of other exceptional pets, spouses and friends. The important thing to note about these statuses is that it is imperative that it’s only left up for an hour and that it’s copied and pasted by the next person who feels the same way. Approximately 3/4 of my Facebook friends haven’t had an original thought in over a week.

Who knows, maybe this is Facebook guiding me in a less judgmental direction by getting me off the gossip of status updates by eliminating them altogether. It could be I simply needed a push in that direction, but I do find myself wondering if Jane is still together with her second husband/baby daddy/felon. Hmmm I wonder if she has a Twitter account…..

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Drawing

Drawing

As a child I aspired to be an artist. Unlike most kids around me I could write beautiful articulate sentences, but I couldn’t master a crayon drawing of my family. It was crushing. Looking back at the artwork my Mom saved from my art classes I realize there is a charm in my inability because below each horribly drawn picture there is a perfectly structured sentenced. Beautiful!

The kids involved in Drawer Geeks have an advantage I never had, professional artists. Each child’s picture is redrawn by an adult artist to bring to life characters and scenes from the kids’ imaginations. While the new drawings aren’t necessarily better, the adult versions are fun interpretations. Even though I retired my Crayolas many years ago for the security of a #2 pencil this gallery is still excellent Friday fun!

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Dishwasher Magic

Dishwasher Magic

Dishwashers are complicated. My dishwasher, for example, is a “compact” which means we have half the normal space to improperly load dishes before they are poorly washed and then because we are trying to conserve energy we have to dry them again before they are unloaded and put back away. As an added bonus to the whole process our dishwasher adds spots to our dishes and has etched our drinking glasses. Like I said, dishwashers are complicated.

After months of dirty dishes coming out of the DISHWASHER even dingier than when we put them in, I started to research how dishwashers actually wash the dishes and what I found changed our dish doing lives forever. First, how you load the dishwasher is incredibly important. At StartCooking.com they have an excellent article (with pictures if you don’t feel like reading) about the intricacies of dishwasher loading. It turns out everything can’t just be thrown in willy nilly!

Secondly, dishwasher maintenance is essential. A clean dishwasher is a happy dishwasher. I’ve cleaned my dishwasher with everything from lemonade, which actually is fairly effective, to vinegar, which works well too, but when I want to splurge I treat my dishwasher to Lemi-Shine MC3. It costs about $5 and it works wonders.

Lastly, the soap you use in the dishwasher is either going to drive you crazy or make your life extra simple. We use the tablets and for the longest time – silly us – we were actually putting them in the door where it says “soap dispenser”, but it turns out our problem was the soap wasn’t completely rinsing and so we were left with spots and dots. An incomplete rinse coupled with hard water and we had a full blown dishwasher mutiny on our hands. The fix, however, was simple. We moved our tablet to the silverware basket so it disolved completely and we added some Lemi-Shine (I love that stuff!) to every load, and dishwasher magic, my dishwasher isn’t so complicated anymore.

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Who Is Sick?

Who Is Sick?

The medical junk in my life was kept out of this blog intentionally. This space is my Internet World where I can pontificate on vacuum shoes and the art of the coffee maker and no one can stop me. I decided early on this site would be hospital free because my real world revolves around medicine, doctors, medications, infusions, and appointments. If I never had to check in to another hospital again I’d be okay with it, but I do know that having Michael next to me makes things a little easier.

If you have a cold, the flu or are just feeling not well, at Who Is Sick? you can chart your symptoms and compare them to people in your neighborhood and community. Being sick sucks, but like all things in life it feels better to know you’re not alone.

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