Solicitor Chase

Yesterday was super frustrating. I have tinnitus in both ears along with some hearing loss, which when grouped together with my other neurological problems makes me feel like a complete invalid. I was having a really bad day. There were weather fronts moving in, which not only make me sick, but also make me dizzy. Our neighbors most likely think I am nuts because there are wide spans of time when I cannot stand up straight and walk through our house. I know I would be YouTube gold.


What really got me yesterday was the doorbell. Our neighborhood is situated in the perfect location between a large, busy street, a dead-end, three churches, a gym, a nursing home/rehabilitation facility, a lake, a post office, a park, an old convent, a cemetery, and a hospital. I’m convinced this pulls solicitors and church people to our neighborhood. They gravitate to our street. Yesterday we had three unwanted doorbell rings. Usually I simply ignore the doorbell, but some days I cannot because I’m expecting deliveries from the pharmacy or other medical suppliers, so every single time I have to open the door. I try to be nice, but on bad days these people try my last nerve. So, what is my solution?

Solicitors Will Be

Chased By Ninjas


I finally decided to hang a sign. I had to pick between having the solicitors being chased by ninjas or Chuck Norris and decided in the end that ninjas were my best bet. If hanging a sign isn’t an option for you, then I’ve found the following things to be incredibly helpful for me when dealing with a solicitor or churchgoer.

  1. Open the door, but don’t open the door. If possible speak to the salesperson through a screen door or glass door to let them know there is no possible way the conversation will be moving forward. 
  2. Be firm. Don’t ask questions or answer questions or allow yourself to be interrupted. Speak in a calm and polite declarative tone and tell the churchgoer that you are not interested. Wish them a great day and shut the door.
  3. Don’t give personal information. If John Appleseed would like your signature to fight for the trees in the 11th District of Maplewood City, tell him to have a great day (unless you know John Appleseed and are all about the trees!). Most petitions and calls to actions can be found online.
  4. Repeat offenders without identification deserve a warning from the police. In our neighborhood, thankfully, all solicitors have to wear identification badges and can only be out during daylight hours. If a solicitor is harassing you, contact the non-emergency number of your local police department for some help the next time they are in your neighborhood. In most communities police departments are more than happy to keep their public safe with a little outreach.

So, if your neighborhood is like ours and in the center of and everything convenient for salesmen and churchgoers, don’t be afraid to hang a sign. If a bad day strikes, however and the sign is not keeping the doorbell quiet, practice the four steps above for a quick and painless way to politely tell solicitors you are not interested. As far as not looking like a crazy person on YouTube, I can only advise you to stay away from the windows.

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